Meat on the table
There was a state of readiness on the ship as it neared its destination.
This was to be the last of the hunting forays, the prey had all but disappeared, plundered to the point of extinction. The heady days of abundance were now past, this was a final, barely financially viable, expedition.
It had been luck that the discovery had ever been made. A ship in need of urgent repairs had stumbled upon the hunting grounds, huge herds had been found, the variety immense, the killing easy.
The initial slaughter had abated, quotas were allocated and a steady but finite supply of fresh meat gradually harvested until the long journey involved and the dwindling supplies had made it uneconomic.
" Do you think we will find this bounty ever again ?" asked one of the crew members.
" Almost sure to " answered the captain " .
" No new hunting grounds have been found since this one, was it just a one off ? "
" It's just a matter of time " stated the captain with finality " prepare for landing ".
The hunting was methodical more than exciting, the huge beasts were just plain stupid, they wandered into the traps blindly. The smaller ones proved more difficult and offered at least a degree of sport. Some of the more ferocious put up a fight but it was pointless. The process of loading was completed quickly and efficiently, the holds filled with carcasses preserved for the long journey home.
" Will anybody even know we were here ?" asked an inquiring voice.
" Sure " answered the captain " There will be a few isolated animals that will die out eventually but their bones will remain. If intelligent life ever evolves here they will find them and start to ask questions. They will know the creatures once existed but will never know why they vanished "
The space craft lifted off from the small planet.
The dinosaurs had had their time, they were just a commercial enterprise that had now expired. Millions of years later when the theories led to innumerable discussions and debate nobody arrived at the logical conclusion.
Dinosaurs were simply animals and animals get eaten....
Sleigh Bells
The guilt had been gnawing away at him for a long time.
Too long.
It clouded his emotions, it lived with him every day, he had to get rid of it. It was affecting his family and even more importantly his job. The only way to get rid of his guilt was to share it, to tell some one, to take the blame and pay for his crime. It would be hard but he had to do it, nothing else would help.
He walked into the police station full of apprehension.
The consequences of his action would be huge, but the guilt was huger.
The desk sergeant looked up and began to laugh but quickly composed himself.
"Yes sir, can I help you ? "
" I want to confess to a murder "
" Elves or reindeers ? " replied the sergeant starting to laugh again.
What sort of buffoon was this policeman, didn't he realise the gravity of the situation ?
"Sorry sir " said the sergeant trying to be more professional. " Can I start with your name "
This man was surely in the wrong job, why was he in a job he was incapable of doing ?
" You seriously don't know who I am ? " he asked disbelievingly.
" No sir, could you give me your name please "
Idiot.
" Who do you think I am ? " he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.
" Your somebody dressed as Father Christmas " said the sergeant as though he was talking to a 3 year old.
" I AM FATHER CHRISTMAS !! " he said with as much force as he could muster.
" I'm sure you are sir " said the segeant, the corners of his mouth twitching with amusement " and you want to confess to a murder ? "
" No " said Father Christmas.
The sergeant rolled his eyes.
" 5 murders " he continued.
The sergeant simply stared at him.
" And when did you commit these murders ? " he asked "....Christmas Eve ? " he added as an afterthought.
" 1888 "
The sergeant sighed heavily beginning to lose his temper
" So you;re Father Christmas and you killed 5 people in 1888 ? What the hell am I supposed to say to that ? Please sir, if you don't mind I ......"
"What is wrong with you, you fool " shouted Father Christmas " I killed 5 women in 1888, I'm here to confess and you haven't even got the sense to listen "
The sergeant stared at him for some time.
" Wait here..............Santa " he said and walked towards a closed door behind him. He returned after a few minutes followed by an elderly man dressed in a dark suit
" This detective will listen to your confession....sir. Please follow him "
Father Christmas followed the man, a look of relief flooding across his face.
The newspaper headlines the next day shocked the world , they read ::
Jack the Ripper case solved ! Father Christmas arrested !
Just an Ordinary day
I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when I glanced out of the window. It was such a lovely day, clear blue sky, the sun quietly blazing away, that I decided to go and sit in the garden. Then I recalled that the sun can cause skin cancer unless you wear sun cream with factor ' whatever it is ', so I stayed inside.
I decided to have a cup of coffee but remembering that it can irritate the lining of your stomach and cause sterility problems I didn't.I thought about having a cup of tea instead.Did you know that tea is a diuretic, it contains caffeine and dehydrates you ? well I do, so I changed my mind.
I filled a glass with water but a little voice said " did you know that the water in many cities contains pollutents called carcinogens that over time can cause cancer " so I poured it away.
I turned on the TV., staring at me was the face of a recently caught mass murderer so I changed channels. I was told that the earthquake death toll in Thingumistan had reached 5000 , I turned the TV off.
I decided to have lunch, but being diabetic, I made sure the blood sugar levels in the food were acceptable but then noticed that the salt content was far too high. Salt causes high blood pressure or hypertension which leads to kidney damage, strokes or even heart attacks. I decided on a diet without thinking about the consequences.
I was going to pour a whiskey but the memory of the rotting kidney I'd seen on TV the night before stopped me. I briefly thought about having a relaxing cigarette, but only for a millisecond.
I looked out of the window, it was still a beautiful day..I made a decision..
I shot myself......